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[IsshoNI]

Was chilling with a few of my mates in aubagne. They are legionairres and they started talking about what they're going to do when they get out. Well I got a real good laugh at a list of skills they've learned they started naming off to me. This is most of what I remember. I was drunk at the time lol.


1. Open a beer using anything (other bottle, lighter, teeth, eye socket, edge of table)
2. Decorking a wine bottle with a dinner knife
3. Getting through concertina wire without a scratch (was too drunk can't remember how)
4. One pair of boot socks can hold a six pack of beer and wet, will chill it in less than 20 minutes on a hot day
5. Deploying a zippo with style
6. Finding 100 uses for an Opinel (including beer and wine bottle opener)
7. Using a boot sock as coffee filter.
8. Making your 5 leaves of toilet paper last, otherwise being prepared to trade your ration pack of Gauloise for more.
9. Never leaving a bed unmade after you slept in it, even motel/hote beds.
10. Being able to wake up, bed made, shaved, scrubbed and dressed and out the door, hangover or not in less than 15 minutes.
11. Being able to switch on, or off *like that*.
12. Maintaining situational awareness in most environments where standing in a crowd only in your underwear may seem innappropriate (ie. outside of home).
13. Performing most domestic tasks with competence (cleaning, ironing, washing). Generally good at (W)ashing, (I)roning, (F)ncking, (E)cetera ecetera. Oh wait, that stands for wife.
14. Being able to look stone cold sober when you can barely stand. This is a skill learnt when having to walk through the gates after a big night out and the RSM (Le Major) is giving you the hairy eyeball and waiting for one slip. Applied in civie street when trying to get into that Night Club where people less drunk than you are getting tossed out the door by the bouncers.

Though someone might get a laugh out of this.

[RootsThatRuin]

Cool story bro?